Friday, December 28, 2001
Wealthy harvest bulk of farm aid: "Almost two-thirds of the $27 billion in federal farm subsidies doled out last year went to just 10 percent of America's farm owners, including multibillion-dollar corporations and government agencies, a review of Agriculture Department records by The Associated Press shows. Rules that base subsidy payments on farm acreage, rather than financial need, mean that taxpayer money flowed to people like media mogul Ted Turner, pro basketball star Scottie Pippen and an heir to the Rockefeller fortune. They also mean some of the wealthiest members of Congress received aid from farm programs they voted for. At least 20 Fortune 500 companies and more than 1,200 universities and government farms, including state prisons, received checks from federal programs touted by politicians as a way to prop up needy farmers. Subsidies went to real estate developers and absentee landowners in big cities from Chicago to New York."
1:33 PM

DECEMBER 28TH, 2001: Seven people remain hospitalized Friday following yesterday's collision between a van and a Queens express bus outside Macy's department store in Manhattan's Herald Square that left six others dead. Investigators are still trying to figure out how the van lost control. The accident occurred just before 5 p.m. Thursday in front of Macy's at the corner of 34th Street and Sixth Avenue, one of the busiest intersections Manhattan. The victims were struck when a van driven by 76-year-old Sidney Weinstein plowed through the crowded intersection and into the back of a Queens surface commuter bus. "At approximately 5 p.m. this evening there was a van parked at a bus stop. NYPD personnel in a marked vehicle from the Taxi Squad asked the van to leave the parking area, at which time the van took off and in doing so struck pedestrians in the walkway. The van continued to the intersection at 34th Street and Sixth Avenue and ran into three more pedestrians and several other individuals," Inspector John Sassano of the Highway District said yesterday. Four people died at the scene, while two others died later at Bellevue Hospital. The youngest of them was 15. Several other pedestrians were trapped underneath and between the van and bus, and police at the scene expressed worry over the injured victims, who were all taken to local hospitals. "Each one that left the scene left with potentially life-threatening injuries," said police Chief Mark Steffens. "It's traumatic. It's difficult for the rescuers and it's difficult for those looking on." Weinstein hasn't been charged in connection with the accident. He was hospitalized and later released. The Department of Motor Vehicles says he has a clean driving record and is licensed to drive a commercial vehicle.
1:27 PM

"Yes, tho' that long dream were of hopeless sorrow,
'T were better than the cold reality
Of waking life."
-Edgar A. Poe
12:16 PM

Thursday, December 27, 2001
i couldn't sleep last night. it was horrible. i felt inbetween states all night. i tried the livingroom couch but i couldn't get comfortable. i need my own place. i so need my own place. with hardwood floors. a lot of light. high ceilings. a deep bathtub. no roaches or mice. quiet. a view would be nice. good feng shui. nice neighbors. low rent. is this what being an "adult" is about?
3:19 PM

even cavepeople collected feathers to adorn themselves. didn't they? are we vain by nature? or have natural necessities (the most colorful bird gets to mate) become vulgar and superfluous? if you can buy anything, then does everything have a cost? i've started work on an online portfolio. i want to archive my work and know if the office building burns down, i'll have some jpgs saved somewhere out here. . . the christmas blues are hitting me now. maybe it's the New Year. watched Heartbreakers tonight. i liked it. very unbelievable and jennifer love hewitt SUCKS. she is a Bad Bad actress. i still like her more than the most hateful natalie portman. i just get in these moods where i feel my nailpolish is pointless. my new boots are pointless. my old clothes are not only pointless but also unattractive. and this is while i'm still young. i'm so lucky to still be young. i guess a comfort will be having my friends grow old with me. we'll all go thru it together.
12:57 AM

Monday, December 24, 2001
merry greens
5:01 PM

Saturday, December 22, 2001
after the last astrology reading i had in florida about 2.5 years ago, i cried and was sad for one week. today was better but i still am not jumping for joy. perhaps ignorance IS bliss. i have to get a flu shot. that's clear. he said my immune system is weak and will be weak this winter. last night i had a horrible dream about a huuuuuge tidal black sea wave covering me. i had to hold my breath and hang on to a tree till it passed over. this happened 3-5 times. always water in dreams signifies illness for me. black or dark water is worse. he told me i need to move out of mom's. find my own place. everyone i know has been telling me the same. - i am still afraid of death. - i do look forward to a few days off for x.mas and then new year's. steven's roomate is gone next week and we can have some privacy. rent movies. bridget jones' diary and giner snaps are on the top of the list. question is, can i afford to get my own studio or one bedroom far away from manhattan? do i want to commute practically 1 hour each way? can i deal with a roomate? - it doesn't help my mood to hear of the man who tired to blow up a plane today with explosives hidden in his shoe. i'm waiting for more details. it feels like the world is falling apart. my little universe blew up when dad died and now it's spreading. - enjoying the moment. this is the secret. the present. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp...
10:33 PM

Wednesday, December 19, 2001
i'm getting an astrology reading this saturday. i have great hopes. i certainly need guidance. this year has been bad. the end of it doesn't seem to get much better.
1:23 PM

Monday, December 17, 2001
Some researchers and entrepreneurs consider splicing genes a legitimate way to enhance biomimicry. A biotechnology company in Montreal called Nexia, for example, says that it has transplanted the gene for making dragline silk from the golden orb weaving spider into a handful of Nigerian goats that can now be milked for silk. Re-creating spider silk is one of the field's major goals because it is five times as strong as steel and much lighter.
2:14 PM

Tuesday, December 11, 2001
today is 8 months since stevenm and i kissed

skipping town with mom till sunday

i don't like the darkness so soon this winter
6:40 PM

Monday, December 10, 2001
i found a new astrologer, Mitchell S. Lewis, whom i plan to consult. until then, this excerpt is from his website: "As I have written many times before America was born on July 4th 1776 at approximately 5:10 P.M. giving it a Sagittarius ascendant of about 12-13 degrees. The rectification has been done based on events in our history as well as a natal reading of the personality of our country. The Saturn-Pluto opposition is hitting Americaís ascendant causing us to change our persona in the worldís eyes & putting pressure on our relationships. This birth time puts Americaís Sun in the 8th house where Jupiter is now crossing in a triple pass. This is giving the false optimism and expansive growth in our housing markets. Saturn is coming in about a year and a half. In October 2003 Saturn will station at 13 degrees Cancer just when Uranus stations on Americaís Moon ruling the 8th house. This combination will be devastating to the economy and political prestige of our country. The Bush administration is knocking over all the necessary dominoes to create the coming maelstrom. The last time Saturn was here was in 1974 right in the middle of our last recession. However, the other planets were not creating the difficult aspects to our chart that are occurring at this time. I expect this economy to take a bad fall. This is not a momentary correction; it is a real and deep actualization of where the financial pitfalls are. The economic values of the previous administration led to the longest period of growth in our history. This administration is hell bent on reversing all that was done before. They are succeeding. The Dow will be at 7000 by 2003. I have said the same for over a year and see no reason to change my point of view. The coming financial problems will be exacerbated by certain political events including the escalating difficulties in Israel. Oil will continue to plague our culture because of the short-sided and greedy attitude taken by big business. In 1973 just when Saturn was where it is now, people waited in line for hours to buy gasoline, and then only on the days that matched their license plates. Here we are 29 years later and nothing I mean NOTHING has been done to prepare for the change we know is inevitable.Ý Oh sure thereís 27 windmills somewhere in California and some schmuck lives in a house that is totally energy self-sufficient and cost $3 million dollars to build. But how are you and I going to heat and cool our own homes in 20 years as the supply dwindles more and more?"
11:23 AM

Friday, December 07, 2001
"Based upon a parapsychological analysis of these Crystal Skulls, the following theories have been proposed: It is believed that the Crystal Skulls are a form of computer which are able to record energy and vibration that occur in their presence. The skull can and will, at times, (unknown and unscheduled) pictorially replay events or images of the people who have come into contact with them (i.e., they contain the history of our world). Just as our modern computers can receive or send information to other computers all over the world (like the Internet), so too can the Crystal Skulls send information amongst themselves. It is thought, as the ancient legends describe, that the Crystal Skulls can and have been used for healing. They have played a key role in many ancient cultures who saw the skull as the Godhead. A very strong link with extraterrestrials has been found and it is felt that beings not from our world either brought these skulls to Earth for some purpose or presented to us the techniques to fashion them. It is suggested that the holographic images of UFO's and aliens that are displayed in various ancient crystal skulls and have been observed by different researchers and sensitives adds supports to such a theory. If the Crystal Skulls were not brought by extraterrestrials then we must conclude there have certainly been civilizations much more technologically or spiritually advanced than our own today. Spiritual channels have suggested that the skulls were created in Atlantis or Lemuria, or that the skulls could have been originally human-bone skulls that were changed to crystal through the power of the mind. It is also suggested that the skulls are connected to people who live in the Inner Earth. Supposedly, according to this latter theory, 13 master Crystal Skulls hold the genetic coding of 12 Inner Earth tribes and the 13th or central skull represents the family of these tribes. Whether the Crystal Skulls are gifts of the gods or a communication device with them, or were made by more advanced civilizations than our own...there is a mystery here to uncover. Since holographic images of UFO's and ET's have been recorded appearing within various crystal skulls from the research done, perhaps the truth about UFO's, where they come from and why they are visiting us will also be revealed. In the meantime the investigation continues."
11:20 PM

Thursday, December 06, 2001
December 6, 2001
America's Cup Champion Murdered in the Amazon
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Filed at 3:08 p.m. ET

SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) -- Peter Blake, who headed the New Zealand crew that won the America's Cup in 1995 and 2000, was shot and killed by pirates during a robbery of his boat on the Amazon River. Blake was killed late Wednesday during a holdup aboard his 119-foot yacht, the Seamaster, anchored on the Amazon in the jungle state of Amapa, some 1,600 miles north of Sao Paulo, state police chief Rosilene Martins de Sena said. Three or four assailants approached the Seamaster in a rubber dinghy commonly used by pirates on the Amazon and shot Blake, 53, when he tried to resist the holdup, Sena said Thursday. Two crew members were treated for minor injuries in the hospital in the nearby town of Macapa. According to local media, the killers took a a spare engine and several watches...
3:57 PM

while channel "surfing" last night mom and i found a clip on the new Ripley's Believe it or Not about an older man who lives from cockroach meat. In the image which is now sadly BURNED upon my brain, you see him wearing neat clothes with about 6-8 huge tropical roaches crawling all over his white shirt. Then a big bowl with some roaches in it. He picks one up and eats it alive. Says they taste like bacon... Help me. Help me please. -- Otherwise, my mom's going thru a depressed phase. I wish she wanted to make friends. She's incredibly private yet still can be the life of a party / dinner / event. -- Last night had dinner with a friend's girlfriend and her sister. They're both great. I felt at ease. What is it about some people that stresses me out? Is it all astrological? And how does one go about finding a GOOD financial advisor?
11:12 AM

Tuesday, December 04, 2001
i was telling stevenm the other night i'd like to be able to create little cartoon rain clouds to follow certain jerks around for an hour or so. i wouldn't want them to get drenched and then die of pneumonia. maybe depending on their constitution, they can either get a downpour (if they can handle it) or just enough sprinkles to destroy their make-up.
1:59 PM

Monday, December 03, 2001
this past weekend stevenm and i went and saw the below mentioned conference: Art and Optics. a day and a half of great discussions. the topic is minor. but it was an awesome exercise to sit and listen for hours and hours to scholars. intellectuals. sometimes they were very annoying. the egos present could have crushed tons of walnuts immediately. by sunday some members of the audience lost their marbles. after each panel people could line up behind two mikes and ask questions. people went on and on and on and some never asked anything! they simply wanted their 15 minutes. susan sontag is a pain in the butt! but she does give great speech. she said today there are many copies with no original. she said david hockney (the author of the book which "proves" artists such as vermeer, ingres, van eyck, and carravaggio among others, used optical devices to draw and paint as early as the 15th century) was applying the american wahrholization to history. the wahrholization of history is an american trait. while i agree, i do think that's a big stereotype to make. why does it seem that it's en vogue for certain groups of "intellectuals" to dump on America and Americans? -- today i had a mild anxiety attack and stevenm walked me home. it helped. now i'm about to eat me-made chicken with onions and cinnamon, curry, garlic sauce, cous-cous, and veggies. -- i'm not ready for winter.
10:49 PM