Tuesday, January 27
COLD MOUNTAIN should have been nominated as the best picture of the year and it should win, which of course it can't since it wasn't nominated. the Oscars are a scam. a sham. jude law should win as best actor. how can sean penn be taken seriously? he's horrible. and as much as i liked cold mountain, renee zelwegger (sp)? please. oh, oh. what's her face - the one who gained 30 pounds to play the serial killer in Monster... big deal. it's a cheap MadTV ploy. take a model (ooooooh), make her unattractive (woooooooh), give her some facial tics, stick in the brown contact lenses and there you have an oscar performance? lame. all lame. talk about "fair."
11:40 PM

what is fair? i think i know. i feel i have a good sense of fairness. it's all subjective though. everything is subjective. what is "real"? what is important? there must be a higher reason or else the insanity of daily, weekly, monthly, yearly life would be too complicated for an accident. ----- it's so pretty outside. the snow is accumulating not only on the street and houses but also on the patches of ice that are collecting on the river.
9:58 PM

Monday, January 19
shopping with steven was fun. looking at an apartment was interesting. i need something nice. i don't so much care about the sq. feet as long as it's not a closet. i do care about the quality of the floors, bathroom, view. quiet is number one. i am waiting for the real estate bubble to implode and then i'll buy. until then i have to find a place of my own. i know steven is anxious as well. to have my own kitchen table to have him over for dinner will be amazing. it's been 3 young years for us, although the things we've been dealing with are quite old.
3:31 PM

Wednesday, January 14
today i weighed 130 lbs. that's 14 pounds more than when i was 15. all of it has gone to my thighs, hips, a bit on the arms and face. tonight, knitting for babies with HIV. new york cares is a wonderful volunteering organization. later tonight some design work, pizza, and chocolate.
9:08 PM

Friday, January 9
"the basis of optimism is sheer terror." -- oscar wilde
11:15 AM

Monday, January 5
i have to restructure my sleeping and waking timeclock. last night i dreamt of tobyDog. also of a black westie. the tobster was snuggling up in my arm and sleeping, stretching. later i was holding the black westie as we walked somewhere. he had extremely soft hair. i miss having toby. i Love dogs. i simply do.
10:43 PM

Sunday, January 4
new year's has started off quickly already. the 31st - 1st was nice. cooking and playing games with friends: scherades (sp), "celebrity", cheese and wine. it was great to see adam after 3.5 years. he's been a constant for this past decade. i always wanted an older brother. ----- so many things to do, so little time.
4:13 PM

Saturday, January 3
hello
3:50 PM